Karma's a Bit*h Read online

  “Thanks,” I said. “But I was going to do that anyway.”

  Phen snorted and shook his head. “Why would I expect anything else?”

  “Good question.”

  “So, are you…you know, working on a job right now?”

  Archer raised his brows. “You actually want to know?”

  “No. I better not.” Phen stood. “Plausible deniability.” He walked around the coffee table. “Jake, are you sure you want to work with my brother?”

  Jake smiled. “I’m sure. He does good things.”

  Phen didn’t look convinced. “I guess. Just be careful. Both of you. If Brett is any indication, it’s not exactly a safe job.”

  “It usually is. I mean, you work with criminals, don’t you?”

  Phen left with a pinched and sour expression.

  I made sure the door was locked behind him and took Jake into my arms. “Thank you for what you said. I’m glad you’re having fun.”

  “It’s not all about that. You know that, right?”

  “I do. You like my coffee too.”

  Jake pretended to swipe at sweat on his brow. “Oh, thank God, you said it first!”

  “You also said I’m the most interesting, funny, caring person you’ve ever met. And I’m sexy and gorgeous, too.”

  Jake grinned. “When did I say that?”

  “Like twenty minutes ago.”

  “Hmm, it doesn’t sound familiar. Are you sure I was talking about you?”

  I nipped the tip of his nose. “Who else? I’m amazing.”

  Jake’s grin widened. “So…finish where we left off?”

  “On the bed this time. That desk is too hard.”

  Jake took off running, and I chased him. I wanted to keep on chasing him for the rest of my life.

  Chapter 21

  Archer

  The Fogles’ house was empty. Six thirty p.m. brought complete nighttime on a Saturday night in February. Nothing moved on the street except for the occasional car driving by. Everyone was either gone or sitting in front of their TVs.

  My Honda was parked on a different street, in the shadow of a tree, with Jake behind the wheel. We’d lucked out on a spot that had a direct view to the Fogles’ between two other houses. All I had to do was cut through a few yards, and I’d be at the car. Jake had a pair of binoculars trained on the front door. He didn’t have a license, but he’d learned how to drive in high school.

  Jake had grudgingly allowed me to take my set of magnets, so I could try to open a window without setting off the alarm. If that didn’t work, I had a set of lock picks in my pocket. I wasn’t great with them, but I had learned to use them a long time ago. I’d broken into a few places for jobs, but it wasn’t my favorite thing to do. I preferred my adrenaline with a side of orgasm and a cute ass, thank you very much.

  Luck was on my side, though. I’d shimmied up the back-porch columns, onto the small roof of a bathroom, and hit the jackpot. The window was open a few inches, probably to let out steam from a shower if the smell of floral soap in the air was any indication.

  So, they had an alarm system but hadn’t bothered to set it? Either they’d bought it for the stickers and sign in the yard to deter people and stopped payments, or they hadn’t bothered to set the alarm at all. Or there was someone in there asleep this whole time, because I hadn’t seen any lights or movement.

  I told Jake all this through the AirPod in my right ear.

  “Huh,” Jake said. “That’s odd. I’d guess they probably kept the ADT sign to deter people rather than forgetting to turn it on. And I doubt anyone’s sitting there in the dark at six thirty at night.”

  “I hope you’re right, because I’m going in.”

  “Be careful.”

  It was the fifteenth time he’d told me to be careful that night. I’d counted. He was so adorable.

  “I will.”

  I threaded one leg through the small window, set my black sneaker on the floor, then pulled my body through, followed by my other leg. “Okay. Straight to Stephanie’s room,” I muttered. “Wherever that is.”

  I crept into the dark hallway and chanced turning on a pen light. Family photos and prints of the Eiffel Tower hung on the walls. A small cherrywood table in the corner held a cordless landline and a vase of plastic flowers.

  I peeked my head in a door and found what I figured was Stephanie’s room. The full-sized bed was shoved against the far wall, covered in a zebra-print blanket and pillows with sequined words I couldn’t quite make out in the gloom. I started with the bureau, where most of Stephanie’s jewelry sat. I studied each piece, comparing them mentally to the pictures Tamsin had given me. Nothing.

  I opened the top drawer. “Bingo,” I whispered.

  A few jewelry cases sat under thongs and bras. I picked through them, making sure I had everything and opened them. Three in all. Pearl earrings, a diamond necklace, and a diamond tennis bracelet. That was every piece Tamsin had mentioned being stolen. I left the number to a burner phone in the diamond case. I had an idea, but I needed to time it perfectly.

  “Got them. I’m coming out.”

  A growl sounded behind me. Shit. The dog. “Here, Muffin.” I reached behind me into the little pouch I’d strapped around my waist. I took out some bacon. Muffin trotted over and yipped, then grabbed my sneaker shoelaces and started to tug and growl.

  “No, Muffin! Stop. Look it’s bacon.”

  He growled.

  “How can you not like bacon? Are you an alien?” I hopped on one leg. I waved the bacon under Muffin’s nose, and he finally let go. “That’s it.”

  “Archer, someone’s coming, and I don’t think it’s the family or a delivery person.”

  “Fuck.”

  No knock or doorbell sounded. I tiptoed to the bathroom and closed the door just enough that I could see through. Following my experience and instincts, I set my camera to record through the crack. I’d left Stephanie’s door wide open in my haste, and the bathroom faced it diagonally, so I had a clear shot of Brian Hart sneaking into Stephanie’s bedroom.

  Brian did the same thing I’d done moments ago, rifling through the jewelry on the bureau and searching the drawers. Muffin ignored him, so I assumed he’d been in the house before.

  Brian found the empty jewelry cases, opened them on top of the bureau, one by one, and found the slip of paper. I shut the bathroom door and locked it, then hurried out the window. My foot caught on the windowsill, and I swore.

  “Archer, are you okay?” Jake asked.

  “I’m okay. Start the car.” I shimmied down the column and fell the remaining distance to the ground. I sprang to my feet and ran as fast as I could. I kept my face away from the house, in case Brian was watching. My black clothes and hat hid the rest of me.

  “Who’s out there?” A man shouted from the neighboring house. “I’ve got a shotgun!”

  I ducked around the fence separating their houses and hid behind a bare bush. I stood and walked as fast as I dared to my car, keeping to the shadows.

  Jake had the door open, and I threw my body into the seat. “Go, carefully.” I pulled the hat I’d given him lower on his forehead.

  “What about your license plate? What if they see it on it someone’s security camera?” Jake asked.

  “I’m going to do something you won’t approve of.”

  “Oh, no.”

  I patted his thigh in commiseration. “I’m going to send the video I just captured of Brian Hart sneaking into Stephanie’s bedroom to steal the jewelry to Brian. I’m betting that’ll be enough for him to not let Stephanie call the cops once she finds out the jewelry’s gone.”

  “That was Brian?” Jake shook his head. “Why is he stealing the jewelry back from Stephanie?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe he likes Amy better? Maybe he wants to try pawning it this time? Who knows?”

  “Speaking of Amy.”

  “Right, I need to cancel that.”

  “Cancel? Why?” Jake glanced at me but kept his e
yes on the road. He white-knuckled the wheel with his hands at ten and two.

  “Pull over.”

  Jake did carefully, turning on the hazard lights.

  I grinned.

  “I’m not adorable,” Jake grumbled.

  “Yes, you are.”

  I got behind the wheel, and Jake sat in the passenger seat and messaged Amy.

  “Why are you canceling?” Jake asked again.

  “Because I got all the jewelry. Let’s do some more research on Amy first. There’s no need to involve her right now, but I might need her later.”

  “Stephanie had all the pieces?”

  “Yep. Now all we need to do is figure out how to get back at Brian.”

  “Can’t you send the video to the police?”

  I thought about it. “We’ll leave that as a last resort.”

  I took the tunnel to Manhattan and wound my way around to Tamsin’s building on Morton. I sent her a text, asking her to come outside. She appeared a few minutes later in jeans and a hastily thrown on parka and ponytail. I flashed my lights, and Tamsin hurried over to climb into the front seat that Jake had vacated for her.

  I handed the pieces over, and Tamsin stared at her palm with wide eyes. She blinked and sniffled, holding a hand to her mouth. “Oh, my God!”

  “That was all of it, right?”

  She nodded fast and threw her arms around me. The tight space made it a little awkward, but I just laughed and patted her back.

  “Listen, Tamsin, you might want to think about putting those in a safe deposit box for now. Brian showed up the same time as me with the same objective.”

  “What?” Tamsin blinked, stunned. “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe he was going to pawn them this time.”

  “But wouldn’t he run into the same problem? Not only from my police report, but this other woman would call the police, too. Wouldn’t she?”

  “I don’t know, but I have an idea on how to end this.”

  “How?”

  “I’m still working out the details, but for now, I’m going to talk Brian into convincing Stephanie not to call the cops.”

  “I guess I should hold off on letting the insurance company know they’ve been recovered, then,” Tamsin said.

  “For now, yes. Just keep them out of sight. Don’t tell your kids, either.”

  She nodded. “Okay. I’m so grateful you found them, Archer. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll call you soon.”

  Tamsin left the car, and Jake scrambled into the front seat.

  “Can you make it so the video I took doesn’t show that it came from my cell phone?”

  Jake adjusted his glassed and sort of shrug-nodded. “I think so. I’ve never done it, but I should be able to figure it out.”

  “Okay. How fast?”

  “Not long, once we get to my place.”

  “Your place?”

  “I’ll need my own computers for this.”

  “Right.” I pointed the car toward Washington Square Park and parked in my garage nearby.

  It was close enough to mine and Jake’s buildings, so I didn’t need to hunt for street parking.

  We hurried, one, because I wanted to get the video to Brian fast, and two, because it was freaking cold, and I didn’t have on many layers due to the need to move quickly. Jake let us in, and we climbed the stairs.

  Keenly aware this was the first time I’d been inside Jake’s building, I studied everything around me, from the graffiti in the foyer to the sounds of an epic video game battle coming from the apartment beside his.

  After unlocking four deadbolts, Jake ushered me in. Not much to see beyond one room, I poked my head in the bathroom, scaring a few cockroaches, then sat on the futon. I kept my lips zipped.

  Jake studied me. “I know what you want to say, but it’s cheap, and near school and my old job.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “But you’re thinking pretty loudly.”

  “Hey, we lived in some not-so-great places growing up, believe me. I know how hard it is to find a decent place that doesn’t cost millions.”

  Jake gave me a quick kiss and a smile and got down to business. He emailed himself the video and proceeded to do some computer voodoo to it that I would never understand if I lived to be a hundred. I busied myself by snooping through his things.

  The burner phone beeped with an incoming message, and I grabbed it. “Brian Hart wants to know who the hell I am.”

  “Hang on ten more minutes, and you’ll be able to send the video.”

  I flipped through some books on his small bookcase and studied the photo of him and his dad at what must’ve been Jake’s first day of high school. Roscoe Michelson was a handsome guy, but it was obvious he’d done some rough living. Jake didn’t look exactly like him, though.

  “You never told me about your mom.” I couldn’t believe I’d never asked.

  Jake glanced at me with a quick quirk of his lips. “Later.”

  I nodded.

  “Okay. Here it comes.”

  “Thank you, Jakey.” I sent the video from my phone to the burner phone, and to Brian, and waited.

  Brian: Who the hell are you?

  Me: Don’t call the police. This is an untraceable phone. I wouldn’t let Stephanie call them either. I will give you instructions later. Until then go about your normal routine.

  Brian: What the hell am I supposed to tell Steph?

  Me: What were you going to tell her after you took them?

  Brian: That they were stolen.

  Me: Then say that. And tell her you’ll take care of it cause you don’t trust the cops.

  Christ, did I have to think of everything here? I put the phone away and gave Jake a wink. “So, your mom?”

  Jake sighed, sitting beside me on the futon. “My mom died when I was like three, I think. I don’t remember her. Dad always used to say that she loved me and used to read Dr. Seuss books to me all the time.”

  “I’m sorry.” I pulled him into my side and kissed his head. “How did she die?”

  Jake shrugged. “Car accident. Dad said I was in it, too. That I was in the hospital for a while. Mom and I both were…only she never made it out.”

  I held him tighter. There wasn’t anything else I could say.

  “You said your dad was a mechanic, right?” Jake asked.

  “Yeah. Still is, as far as we know. We don’t have any contact. He wanted nothing to do with us after I was born.”

  “I can’t imagine not wanting to know you, Archer Ferraro.”

  I smiled. “That’s because you’re the sweetest.”

  Chapter 22

  Jake

  A lightbulb went off in my head. “That’s why you did it,” I said.

  “What?” Archer leaned away to look at me.

  “That’s why you were so protective of your mom. I mean not that you wouldn’t have been anyway, but you went to such extreme lengths to stop Mark because you felt like it was your fault your dad left.”

  Archer blinked, mouth slightly opened.

  “Oh. God. I’m so sorry.” I jumped up and shoved my fingers in my hair. “I’m an asshole. I tried to psychoanalyze you from one short conversation. Ignore what I just said.”

  “No.” Archer shook his head with a small laugh. “You’re right. I mean I knew that about myself, I’ve just never had it put out there so bluntly before.”

  I grimaced. “That’s me. All the finesse of a jackhammer.”

  Archer pulled me down beside him and tucked my head under his chin. I rested on his chest with a sigh. I needed to learn to keep my mouth shut.

  “So, are you going to tell me what you’re planning?”

  “Mm.” Archer considered. “Not yet. I’m still working it out in my head.”

  “Okay. But just so you know, I want to help as much as I can.”

  He pressed a smile into my hair. “You’re not afraid of being arrested anymore?”

  “I am,
but as long as we take reasonable precautions, I’ll be fine. And if it did happen, you’d send Phoenix after me, right?”

  “Of course, I would! And I’d pay your bail, no matter what it is. And I’d send Greg and Nonna Sophia. She’d shame them into letting you go.”

  I laughed. “I bet she would.”

  “Hey, what do you say we go get some dinner and head to my place?”

  “You’re creeped out by the roaches, aren’t you?”

  Archer pressed my face into his chest harder. “Shh, I’m pretending they don’t exist.”

  I snickered. “Okay. Let me pack some clothes.”

  “Why don’t you just move in with me?”

  “What?” I whipped around. “I know I said that earlier, but I was joking.”

  Archer opened and closed his mouth a few times. “Not move in with me, move in with me. I meant move in with me because it’s easier, and um…you know…safer?”

  My brain crashed. I tried to reboot it, but it wasn’t having it. The blue screen of death flashed before my eyes, and no amount of Ctrl + Alt + Delete would fix it. “Um…I-I—”

  “You know what? You don’t have to answer that. We can forget I said anything. Okay?” Archer approached with his hands out to his sides, knees slightly bent in case I made a break for it.

  I nodded along with him. “Toothbrush.”

  “Yes. Good. Get your toothbrush.”

  He exhaled a sharp breath as I turned, but I didn’t dare look back. Move in together? Crap, I needed Marri. But it’d have to wait.

  ***

  Monday came quickly, and I’d spent the weekend trying to get a read on Amy Pensacola’s personality. It wasn’t easy, even when Archer managed to follow her around for a few hours. My stomach churned with acid, and I sipped on a chamomile tea Archer had placed in front of me. I’d never had it before, but he assured me it was good for my nerves.

  My dad was getting out of prison today.

  He’d get settled in the halfway house; then I’d go visit. Archer would insist on coming, unless I hurt his feelings and told him I didn’t want him to come.

  “Talk to me, Jakey.” Archer took my hand.